Blame It On Me
by kakeable
Summary: Degrassi. Clare and Eli.   In my mind what should have happened. :
1. Chapter 1

That smirk, his smirk. It could make me melt. One look and I had to resist the urge to grab his face and kiss him until I couldn't breathe. We had only kissed twice and he said I was his girlfriend, but that night. That one horrid night, the night that almost changed my life. The night I almost lost what could very possibly be the love of my life. The last thing I said to him before I left to my go to my grandma's house were hurtful.

Now I was sitting here on my grandma's couch thinking of Eli, especially those kisses, those two amazing kisses. Then my mind floated to the dance. They way Fitz called me a bitch, the way Eli gently pushed me away from him. I started breathing faster and faster I couldn't control it. I felt like I was hyperventilating. I calmed myself down right as Grandma walked into the room.

"Clare honey do you want to help me bake something for your parents?" she said sitting next to me on the couch.

"Sure grandma." I said very hesitant to get up.

My parents, another thought that I didn't want in my head. They had been yelling at each other for weeks. We all knew they were going to get a divorce, but neither of them would grow up and tell me. They had managed to get along for Grandma's sake. We started my make the brownies, well grandma did I sat at the table and watched while we talked. She was the only one beside Ali that I told about Eli. Which was odd I was never all that close to Gran, but ever since Grandpa died she seems mellower she didn't worry about the little things and she was more interested in my life. This was good and bad. I managed to get her to stop talking about Eli, it only made me hurt worse.

When we were done making brownies I took one upstairs. I laid down on the bed, which smelt like mothballs and old lady. I didn't mind much, partly because I was too lazy to go anything about it. I couldn't stop thinking about Eli, I wanted to talk to him so badly but I was afraid that he would be mad at me. If I was him I would never want to talk to me again. I walked to the computer and signed on to my IM, I was hoping to see Eli's screen name, but I didn't. I sighed logged off and flopped onto the bed, dust flied into the air.

I must have dozed off because I was woken up by my phone buzzing. I looked at the caller ID, Adam. I wasn't sure if I wanted to pick up, just because I wasn't really in the mood. I had the most amazing dream. Eli came to pick me up from my grandma's house and we sat in his car and made out. That was it.


	2. Longing

I woke up to Adam screaming at me.

"What the hell do you want Adam?" I almost screamed.

"Dude get up, we need to do something." He said practically jumping on me.

"Fuck off Adam, all I want to do is lay here and think about Clare, and how I messed that up." I said rolling over and pulling the covers over my head.

"Fine, but I called her today." He said knowing that would get me up. I sat up so quickly I might have gotten whiplash.

"And…" I said getting out of bed.

"Oh, she didn't answer." I left the room in anger. He followed.

"Go home Adam." I said becoming more and more pissed off.

"You've been moping around for like three days now."

"And I care because?" I just wanted him to leave. "I'll come over tomorrow, promise just give me one more day to live in my sorrow." I said going into my kitchen that was less then tidy. I didn't care if it was clean, I didn't care about anything right now. All I could think about was Clare. Her beautiful blue eyes, her soft porcelain like skin, the way it felt holding her small hand in mine. Her laugh, her smile, they way her hair sometimes got in her face, and the way she blushed when I complemented her.

God she was beautiful, and she was mine, or at least she used to be until the dance. The image of her at the dance was burned in my mind. The look on her face as I shoved her away from me as Fitz walked up with the knife. They thought of him calling her a bitch was almost more angering then the fact that he almost stabbed me.

"Eli, did you hear me?" Adam sounded annoyed.

"No, I'll be over tomorrow okay?" I said not really caring what he said.

"Whatever your about as reciprocal as a brick wall." He sighed on his way out. "Bye."

I didn't respond to him, I was being a dick and I knew it. I was still mad at Clare for saying that she couldn't be like an asshole emo kid who wanted to get killed. It stung but I knew I really scared Clare by almost getting stabbed, it not that I enjoyed almost dying it just that I could let a caveman like Fitz scare me, but if it meant losing Clare well then he had already won.

I picked up my phone hoping to see that Clare had called or text me. No such luck. I did have one missed call from restricted, maybe Clare had called but didn't want me to know it was her. I could only hope. I missed her so much, and it had only been 3 days. What hurt the most was the fact that I finally had Clare, but then I lost her. I have never felt like this about anyone, not even Julia. Her death still cut me amazingly deep, but Clare, Clare was one of the best things that I have ever happened to me. Her touch made me fall even deeper in like, or whatever I was with her.

I picked up the phone "Adam, I know I was an ass today, but how would you feel about a road trip?"

I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I got in Morty along with my bag of clothes. I started my car and pulled out of my drive way. I checked my phone as I made my way to Adam's house, still no new messages from Clare. Damn. When I got to Adams he got in the car, threw his bags in the back.

"Are you crazy Eli?" He said without looking at me. I could tell he was still a little bit pissed at me, but he got in the car which was a step up.

"Yes, but I need to see her, talk to her, hold her, kiss her…" He cut me off

"Alright I get it you need to see her, enough with the emotion stuff."

"Ok, ok I promise." I sighed.

We stayed quite pretty much the whole way apart from snack and bathroom breaks. We sung or screamed to the music, all while my mind was on her. Clare. Just thinking her name drove me crazy. I needed to see her now.

Adam called her once again. "Hey Clare," my heart did flips in my chest.

"Yeah, I'm with Eli." He looked at me, "yeah his fine." I wanted to hear what she was saying so badly. "Oh, um we're just hanging out listening to music. Yeah it's fun." He looked at me once again. "Clare, how are you doing?" He didn't say anything for about a minute and 12 seconds, according to my count. She must have been telling him everything she had done on break so far.

"Alright Clare, I'll talk to you later." He hung up.

"What'd she say? Is she okay? How is she doing?" I struggled to get out in sentences you could understand.

"She's fine, just hanging with her grandparents." He looked out the window.

I assumed she told him not to tell me, so I let it go. I would see her soon enough.


	3. You're Everywhere To Me

I hung up after talking to Adam, telling him I really wanted to see Eli was probably a bad idea seeing as they were together. I secretly wanted him to know. I was so worried that Eli would still be made at me. Hell, I was mad at myself for saying it. I told Gran what I said and she looked at me with extreme disappointment. After my dream last night I felt like I would die if Eli didn't hold my hand, or look into my eyes right this second. I never thought I would long to hear his overly sarcastic comments and watch him smirk as he waited to see how I reacted. I need to stare into those deep green orbs.

To get my mind off Eli I decided that would work on some homework. I went back upstairs and turned on the computer and opened up Microsoft Word. I had an English paper to write, I had a week until it was due, but I needed something, anything to change my thoughts. I started to write but soon gave up because I couldn't focus. I was so worried that I'd lost Eli as Fitz stabbed the knife. I never felt the kind of relief I had after I realized that Eli didn't get stabbed. Eli was trying to protect me; he shoved me away from him. He would have died to protect me and I just stood there like an idiot and watched him almost get killed. Then I yelled at him. I was the most undeserving person in the world for Eli's affection, yet I craved it.

I gave up, walked away from the computer and headed back downstairs hoping that there was still some brownies left. As I made it to the bottom of the stairs I heard my parents fighting. They weren't yelling because they didn't want Gran to hear from where she was in the kitchen. They were trying to be discreet but were failing. When they saw me approach they stopped, but not before I could hear what they were saying. They were talking about how this trip wasn't going to save their marriage and that my dad wanted to leave because it wasn't even his family. Hmm I thought, so now I'm not even family awesome. I felt so loved. I decided that I would let them get back to their fighting so I went and sat with Gran in the kitchen.

"Do you hear them?" I asked her, as I sat next to her at the white table that was proabaly older then I was. The chair squeaked when I sat down. Since I was little I was always afraid that the chair would break as I sat down, and that people would think I was really fat because I broke it. I had gotten over that fear.

"Yes dear, just ignore them okay." She rested her hair on top of mine.

"I know Gran, but I just want it to stop." I pleaded, as if she could do something to stop it.

"I know honey bear." Her eyes held sorrow and pity.

"Thanks for letting us stay here. It's nice to have a break from life sometimes." I said

"Clare, don't you ever think this, their fighting has anything to do with you, okay?" She said standing up, for me to hug her. I wrapped my arms around her, she felt so weak that if I held on to tight I would break her.

"Thanks, again." I said as I let go of her. "I think I might go for a run, hopefully they'll stop fighting by the time I get back." I said as I headed back upstairs.

I dug around my duffle bag for some shorts and socks. I changed and was ready to go. Going for a run might not have been the best idea because I always did the most thinking when I was running, and about to go to bed. I grabbed my IPod; hopefully the music will drown out my thoughts. I took off down the street not caring which way I was going, as long as I got somewhere far away. After almost getting hit by two cars I found a nice bench by a pond. I decided that I could sit here and wait out the storm at Gran's.

As I sat there I saw happy couples walk by, it made me sick, upset, and I wanted to cry. Eli and I had barely even gone out before it all fell to shit. I sighed; there was no one around to hear my overly dramatic sigh. Until someone put their hands over my eyes and said "guess who?"

Clare jumped as I covered her eyes. It made me laugh a little.

"What the hell?" She stopped talking as she realized who I was. She blushed which made me want to kiss her. "Eli, what are you doing here?"

"What, you're not happy to see me?" I said pretending to be hurt. Actually I was kind of hurt, in my head she would have jumped up and hugged me no such luck.

"I..I..I am, it's just that…you're all the way out here." She struggled to get her words out. I couldn't stand it, I walked around the bench and kissed her. She gasped.

"Eli, I figured you would have hated me after what I said." Oh, I forgot about her less than nice comments right before she left.

"Clare, I was...You were right." I said, great now I was flustered. I was always very sarcastic and witty, but when I got around her I could barely form sentences. "I was an asshole, and I need to give up my fight with Fitz." I said trying to read the look on her face.

"Eli," she hugged me, I wrapped my arms around her never wanting to let go. It was so perfect, like a scene from a movie. "Clare" I replied. I closed my eyes and breathed in, she smelt like strawberry, like always. I hoped I didn't smell to gross after the long car ride with Adam. At this point I didn't really care, I had Clare back in my arms, and I was never going to let her go.


	4. Let Me Know That I've Done Wrong

**A/N I won't be able to write for like 3 days because my school is going on a camping trip so heres this to make up for it…sorry. If you have ideas as to where I should take the story from here let me know. **

It felt so good having Eli near me again, even if he was a little bit smelly I didn't mind. He was here, with me. I wanted to hold on to him forever. Someone coughed, it was Adam. I hesitantly let go of Eli.

"Hey Adam," I said not wanting to be rude.

"Hey Clare," he said staring at a tree; I could tell he was uncomfortable.

"Why are you guys here?" I asked I was dying to know.

"Eli decided that he needed to see you." I looked at Eli he was smirking like always, God I loved that face.

"I missed you," he said taking a step closer to me.

"I missed you too." I couldn't resist I pulled him into another hug. It felt so good, so natural nothing like when I was with KC. Wait, why did I just think of KC?

I just hugged Eli tighter until he said "Um, Clare you're gonna' kill me if you squeeze any tighter."

"Oh sorry," I could feel my face get hot with embarrassment, like it did so often when I was with Eli.

"Clare, I wanted to…." He kissed me, never finishing his sentence, but it was okay with me. The kiss was filled with passion and lust. It was so full of emotion and intensity yet gentle. It was perfect. I felt his tongue trying to make its entrance into my mouth, surprisingly I let it. My tongue and his danced around in between our mouths for a while. When we finally parted I could barely breathe and not because our kiss lasted that long. It was like a kiss you saw in the movies it was breathe taking, so magical.

"Eli, let's go to Gran's house." I said grabbed his hand.

"Uh, what about me?" Adam said sounding a little bit hurt.

"Yes, you too can come." I said feeling bad about forgetting him. I couldn't help it though; I was so mesmerized by what had just happen. I could barely walk which was okay because Eli had his arm around me as we walked to Morty.

When we got to Gran's house I started to worry, what if my parents were still fighting? What if they didn't like Eli? I was starting to freak out and Eli must have known that because he squeezed my hand in reassurance. We got out of the car and walked to the door. When I walked in I didn't hear any fighting which was a good sign. I walked in to the kitchen with Eli and Adam on my heels. I saw Gran sitting at the table doing a crossword like always.

"Hi Gran, I ran into some friends at the park I want you to meet Eli, and Adam." I said as they stepped timidly into the kitchen.

"Oh, why hello there you two." She said getting up to hug them. I shook my head. I loved Gran, she was so loving and warm, but I wasn't sure how well Eli or Adam would handle that. They seemed to be doing well. We all gathered around the kitchen as Gran got us some brownies and milk to eat. Everything was going perfect until I heard my parents come downstairs, while yelling at each other.

I went into the living room to tell them to be quite. I saw my mom lying on the couch crying and my dad standing above her not really yelling at her, but talking harshly at her. He was calling her a piece of shit and some other things that I never want to hear in my life. I looked again and realized that my mom was holding the side of her face, like I had seen Eli doing after Fitz punched him. It suddenly hit me like a train; my dad had just slapped my mom. I rushed to her side as my dad cursed at me. She was crying, finally my dad went outside while mumbling to himself.

"Clare, honey its okay I deserved it." She said trying to hold back the tears. Something told me this wasn't the first, or last time this happened.


	5. If You Only Knew

**A/N Sorry I havn't been posting, I was camping. I have also had really bad writers block. So if you have any ideas let me know. **

Clare left like five minutes ago to go into the other room. She said she'd be right back; I was starting to worry because I could hear her parents fighting. I got up slowly and walked into the other room where Clare and her mom where sitting together on the couch crying. I backed out of the doorway and back into the kitchen. I grabbed another brownie worried about what had just happened and if they were okay. Adam looked at me as if saying 'dude what happened?' I gave him a reassuring look.

"So Eli, Clare tells me so much about you but I'd like to hear what you're like from you, so tell me about yourself." She said he voice was a little shaky because of all the years of use.

"I'm just an average guy I guess; I like music, friends, and my car." I shrugged; I was so awkward when it came to parents, and grandparents. Adam looked at me and shook his head in disapproval. It made me laugh a little bit.

"Oh, that's what the kids would say is cool, right?" She said very pleased with being 'hip' with the kids.

"Yeah," I laughed "it is very cool."

"So, is Eli your real name?"

"No, it's Elijah but I like Eli better." I said starting to feel less tense.

"Well then Eli, do you like my Clare Bear?" and suddenly that less tense feeling disappeared.

"Uhm, urh, uh" I couldn't really form words, "yeah I do a lot." I said as I felt my face burn with embarrassment.

"Well you better not hurt her, I may be an old lady but I will still make sure you walk slower than I do." She said her voice was soft, but her face was very, very stern.

We all stayed quiet for what seemed like forever and Clare still hadn't come back. I looked at Adam who looked like he was struggling to stay awake. When suddenly we heard a loud racket and hushed mumbling. It was Clare's dad who was struggling to get up the front steps; I could tell he was drunk. My own dad was always like this. I wasn't about to admit this to anyone other than Adam who had accidently witness it. Adam walked over to my house so we could go hang out at the Dot, I told Adam if he walked over I would drive us to the Dot. My dad was out so I figured he would be for a while; I was wrong. Adam and I were watching a show before we left, when my dad came drunkenly through the front door. He yelled and screamed, as he passed out drunk in the kitchen like he had some many times before Adam and I rushed to the Dot, when I came back he was gone.

Clare's dad started to yell louder and louder. I heard Clare help her mom up the stairs. She came back downstairs you could tell by the look on her face that she had been crying. I was really worried. I was afraid that she wasn't going to make it if her parents kept fighting like this. I know how it killed me, well not death killed but emotionally it defiantly tore me apart. I think my parents defiantly have something to do with my 'emo' appearance.

Clare face faded from dread to fear. I pulled her into a hug as her dad continued to scream. I just held her.

"Eli, can we please go somewhere else?" She whispered into my ear.

I nodded. I wanted nothing more than to be alone right now. Shit. Adam. Shit. I really want it to be just Clare and me, but I couldn't leave him here with Gran and Clare's drunk dad. Right as I was about to tell Adam we were going Clare's dad went into the other room. Gran asked me if I would take Clare back home, because she didn't want her staying with her parents fighting anymore. I nodded trying to stay calm. Clare, alone in her house, lonely, with only me to comfort her I liked this.

She went upstairs to say goodbye to her mom, grabbed her stuff, hugged Gran and then we left, and I was hoping we wouldn't have to come back. Clare would need me this week, and I was going to be there, hopefully every minute of every day for the rest of our two week break.


	6. You Are My Heaven

**A/N I have writer's block really bad so someone give me ideas. Plus my internet has been down. Sorry. **

**SORRY! My computer deleted the updated version which was what I uploaded first this is the real one…sorry **

We rode practically in silence the entire way. Adam was in the back and Clare was in the passenger seat, well she used to be, she had scooted so far over she was almost on my lap. I was trying to steer with one hand because Clare was clinging to the other, not that I minded. I decided that for Clare's sake I wouldn't play my normal scream-o music. I let her play her iPod. We ended up listening to The All American Rejects, Train, and then she put on Evan Taubenfeld. It shocked me because I loved them. She put on my favorite song 'The Story of Me and You'. It's funny because when Clare and I first started dating this song was everything I wanted us to be.

She sang along while I tried not to stare in awe. I kept my eyes on the road trying to keep my mind off kissing her. I'm pretty sure this was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do, other than get over Julia. When Clare stopped singing she rested her head on my shoulder. She played with my fingers, I loved it. I wanted to feel like this forever. I wanted Clare's fingers to be interlaced with mine; I wanted her head to stay on my shoulder, I wanted to know that she'd always be next to me. I needed to know that she would.

We took stops to go to the bathroom and to get gas. I hadn't really looked at Clare, only side glances. When we walked into a gas station I stared at her for awhile, while she was picking out a candy bar. I saw that her cheeks were tear stained. I walked up behind her. When she felt my presence she turned around. I kissed her, nothing scandals but it was amazing. We parted not saying a word. I paid for her Kit-Kat and we were on our way again.

Eli bought me a candy bar. I thought it was really sweet; I'm not sure why I've had friends buy me candy bars before but now it seemed so sweet. I had the most amazing ride in the car of my life, once again I'm not totally sure why but I knew it had something to do with Eli. We got into the car and headed back to town. I figured we were about an hour away. I was too shy to ask in fear of looking stupid. I found my way back to Eli's shoulder and my hands found their way to his. I kept thinking about how magical this was. I slowly differed into sleep.

When I woke up I was slightly confused but didn't really care I could still feel Eli's shoulder supporting my head. I closed my eyes and fell right back into sleep. I dreamed that my dad hit my mom again, and then me. I couldn't help him; I just sat there crying as he continued to hit us. I yelled stop when someone started shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Eli.

"Clare, Clare are you okay?" He was still holding onto my shoulders.

"Where am I?" I said looking around to get an idea as to where I was.

I still had no idea, it was fairly dark, and smelled like Eli, well that was because he was less than five inches. I was sitting on a couch with a smallish T.V in front of me there were DVD's scattered all over the floor in of it. I was still so dazed from sleeping. I knew I was defiantly wasn't in Eli's car where I was when I fell asleep.

"My house," he said I could tell he was concerned as to how I would react.

"Ok," I said not really minding, if this was a year ago, or with someone else I might have reacted differently but it was okay. I kind of shocked myself.

"If you want to go back to sleep you can, I was just about to go get your bags out of the back as you started screaming stop. I woke you up because I was worried about you." He just looked at me; I could tell he was worried.

"I'm fine; if it's okay with you I'm just going to lie back down." I said watching his head towards stairs.

I now knew a few things about Eli's house/room. I knew he lived downstairs, his room just like his wardrobe was black, and that he wasn't very tidy. I was somewhat tempted to clean up but I figured that it would be crossing the line. I lay back down and stared at the ceiling. It didn't look like the ceiling in my basement, it was much nicer I wouldn't mind living down here. Whoa I thought to myself, did I really just think what it would be like to live in Eli's room. I wasn't starting to scare myself with thoughts like these.

He came back downstairs and moved my feet and placed them on his laugh. He started to tickle them; I laughed and kicked at him to make him stop.

"Ow, trying to neuter me Saint Clare?" he smirked, gosh I loved that smirked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't really mean to really." I said I could feel my face getting hot.

He moved my feet so they no longer rested on his lap. He continued to place each of his knees on either side of my hips, and then he placed his hands on the sides of my shoulders. He leaded down and kissed me softly at first, but then it became more and more passionate. He kissed me hard, and then his tongue tried to make entry into my mouth. I felt him move his hands and they started to tug at my shirts.

I grabbed his hands away from my shirt. "Eli no," I said trying not to sound to prude.

"It's okay, but I'm not going to stop kissing you, I don't think I could stop myself." He said I could feel him smirk against my lips.

"That's fine by me." I said leaning up closer to his face to make contact again.

We kissed for a long time, not that I minded one bit. I was starting to get hungry and could feel my stomach growl. I guess Eli could feel it to because he sat up slightly sitting on my thighs.

"I'll go make something to eat" he said heading up the stairs.

I waited until he was up the stairs to look around his room; I was mainly searching for a bathroom or a mirror to see how I looked. When I finally found one I wasn't surprised to see that hair was extremely matted, but other than that I looked fine I fluffed my hair and headed up stairs. He was standing over the toaster making Ego Waffles. As he saw me he smirked. I wished that I could take a picture of this moment and keep it forever. I blushed just thinking about him, I'm not sure why I guess I felt like he could tell I was thinking about him. We sat there and ate our waffles watching each other. Every time I looked at him he seemed to be smirking.

When we finished I finally asked the question I had wanted to know for a while."Eli, why are we at your house, not mine?"

"Because I didn't have a key to you house, and I wanted to let you sleep." I was worried that he might sound a bit defensive even though there was no hint of it in his tone. I felt a little guilty asking that, but I guess I didn't think that my house was always locked. I blushed for like the millionth time today.

I still didn't know what time it is I looked around the kitchen for a clock. The one on the oven said 8:48 but the microwave said 6:39. Eli followed my glance and just kind of chuckled.

"The oven," he said and went back to eating his waffle.

"Eli, I don't want to be pushy or demanding but are you going to take me to my house?" I asked my face turning red.

"Whatever you want my dear." He said in an accent that I could recognize.

"I would just like to say thanks, for everything and that I'm sorry." I glanced down at my plate and when I looked back Eli was gone. I felt his hands start to rub my back.

"Clare, what you said to me was so not Saint Clare, but it someway I guess I did deserve it, I was a jerk but promise me you'll never say those things to me again." I just nodded as he continued to rub my back.

After we finished my waffles he helped me get my stuff back into his car and he drove me to my house. I got the key from out of the plant by the door and unlocked my house. It felt so weird in here with no one home, but I kind of liked it. I showed Eli the way to my room when I realized that he had never been here before. He put my bags on the floor and sat on my bed. He laid down in his best seducing pose. I leaned into him and starting kissing him. I liked being able to kiss him whenever I wanted.

"Want to watch a movie?" I said taking my place next to him on the bed.

"I thought you wanted to get rid of me, that's why you made me take you home." He said pretending to be hurt.

"No, I was just wanted to know if you were going to." I said keeping my eyes locked on the painting that was hanging on my wall. It was a painting that Darcy had painted for me before she left. No one really knew that she painted, but she was so talented.

"Sure, as long as I get to pick." He said sliding off the bed towards me.

"Where do you want to watch them, here or downstairs?" I said kind of hoping that he wanted to stay in my room as much as I did.

"Here," he said shyly which was odd for him.

We watched some random chick flick he had picked out to please me I'm sure. We got bored and started to make out again. When we parted I heard a scream it made me jump. Eli laughed and I realized that it was from the movie. He kept laughing I fake pushed him pretending to be mad. He kept making out with me, I felt him tug at my shirt, then at the waste of my pants. I wasn't worried or shy I trusted him so I took his shirt off.


	7. Chapter 7

We continued to kiss for awhile his shirt was off, he wasn't six pack buff but he was somewhat defined. He was very pale which didn't surprise at all. We stood up and he went to take off his pants.

"Eli," I said not wanting to hurt his feelings. I just stood there looking like an idiot, but he stopped. I looked at the floor, I'm not sure what I felt but it wasn't great.

"Hey," he pulled me into a hug "if you don't want to we don't have to, it's okay you can relax."

I couldn't speak I just nodded. He started to rub my back I wanted to stay here forever. After we released I just stared at him never wanting to unlock eyes. My phone rang interrupting our 'moment'. It was text from Ali she wanted to know how my grandma's was going. I forgot that I hadn't told her I was home. If she knew I was home she'd want to sleep over. I didn't really want her to come over; I just wanted to hang out with Eli.

"Who was that?" Eli said trying to sneak a peak of my phone.

"Ali." I said throwing my phone on my bed.

"Oh, did you tell her you are home?" knowing the answer.

"Nope, I just wanted to hang out with you?" I said taking a step closer to him.

"Well, what if I don't want to hang out with you?" he smirked pulling me into an embrace.

We stood there for awhile then decided that we should see a movie. We drove in Morty but when we got there I didn't really want to go in, I wanted to sit there with him. I was kind of overwhelmed with how I was feeling about Eli right now. At one point when we were making out, I actually thought about going farther than kissing.

We sat in my car for a while before the movie started. We walked in holding hands; I was hesitant to let her hand go when I got my wallet out of my pocket to pay. I told Clare that I got to pick the movie. I, of course picked the scariest movie they were playing because I knew Clare would jump into my arms at any scary moments. I practically had to drag Clare into the theater after I got her popcorn and Buncha Crunch. We sat in the very back, and she put the arm rest up so that she could lean on me, which was more than okay.

Someone was getting killed so Clare hid her face in my chest; I rapped my arm around her and pulled her closer. She asked if it was over I thought about saying no just so she would stay like that a little bit longer. She was so cute, when something scary was going to happen she'd either cover her eyes, or plug her ears. It made me laugh.

When the movie was over she pretty much ran out of the theater. When I caught up with her I put my arm around her and we walked back to Morty.

"So, Clare why'd you plug your ears?" I said glancing at her before I pulled out of the parking lot.

"If you can't hear what's going on its not nearly as scary." She said her face turning red with embarrassment; it was so cute when she did that.

"Good point, that's so cute." I said somewhat regretting how feminine it sounded.

"What me plugging my ears?" she said shyly.

"No, your face turning red," I said causing her face to turn even more red. He giggled, that was cute too. Damn, what was she doing to me; I never used to think like that.

We got back to her house and she made me play a board game. When I looked up I noticed that the clock said it was almost 12 at night. I really didn't want to go home and I was hoping that Clare would let me spend the night, but I wasn't going to get excited. We played scrabble, I won and she pretended to be mad. Then she noticed what time it was too. She was thinking, I could tell. I was hoping that she was thinking how to ask me to stay.

"Wow, I can't believe that it's already 12." Her face was starting to get red.

"Yeah it got late."

"Well, do you want to," I had to keep myself from shouting yes "watch some T.V.?"

What the hell? Really? I sighed I guess it's better than nothing.

"Sure," I said as we moved to the couch.

"Can we uhm, watch Cougar Town?" her face turned red.

"Saint Clare likes Cougar Town?" I pretended to ponder.

"Yes, it's kind of a dirty secret of mine." She leaded into my arms and snuggled against my chest.

We watched in silence, we ended up watching two episodes. It was now 1 am. I yawned, so did Clare. After we got up from the couch and headed towards the door Clare stopped me.

"Eli, it's really lonely here without my parents would you mind staying here?" she said sheepishly.

"Yeah, if it's okay with you" I said which was kind of a dumb question seeing as she just asked me.

"Yeah, you don't have to sleep in my bed if you don't want to."

Oh man did I want to, more than anything but I kept my cool and shrugged "Ok."

We went into Clare's room and she grabbed her pajamas and headed into her bathroom to change. While she did I took off my black shirt and black jeans and folded them on the floor. When she walked in I was standing there in just black boxers. I could tell she was shocked when she saw me. Clare was wearing plaid purple and blue girl boxers and a tank top. Never have I seen someone look so sexy. We got into bed, but I hoped there would be no sleeping.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a while I'm been really busy with school plus I've had writers block really really bad. Ugh. Sorry. **

She kissed me playfully never connecting lips, it was fun but not passionate which was what I wanted. She kissed my neck, my check, my hands, my arms and my neck. She giggled when I kept trying to connect her lips with mine. Then we she wasn't expecting it I rolled us over so I was no on top of her. This was my chance I was in control I could do what I wanted, and I had more than one idea.

Eli was now on top of me and our kisses which were playful a moment ago were now filled with passion. He kept pressing harder and harder against my lips with his. I felt his tongue trying to make its way into my mouth. I allowed it and our kisses got more and more intense. He slipped his hand under my shirt and rested it on my stomach I could tell he was waiting to see how I reacted. I did nothing, and he moved his hand up towards on bra. I anticipated his hand to grab my breast but it didn't he slipped it around my back and tried to undo the latch. I'm not sure why but I gasped causing Eli to stop.

"Clare, are you okay with this?" He said propping himself up so that his face was hovering above mine.

"I think so." I said not too sure of my answer. I wanted to show Eli how much I liked him, but my head was spinning.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, you know that right?" I nodded unable to speak. He was so amazing I wanted to I just couldn't.

"I'm sorry Eli, I can't but maybe another time I promise." I said sitting up.

"Of course its okay Clare, I would do anything for you." This was a side of him I had never really seen before; there was no sarcasm or smirk.

"Ok, Saint Clare." There it was the smirk was back.

He laid next to me and put his arm around me. This felt so good, knowing he was here next to me to keep me safe at all times.

"Eli?" I said breaking the silence that was far from uncomfortable.

"Yes-um?" He said out of the dark.

"Can I sleep in your tee-shirt?" I said even though it was dark I knew my face was red.

He tried to hide his laugh "Yes, you may but why'd you ask?"

"I wanted to be polite." I was so glad he couldn't see me blush right now.

"Of course you did," he said as I was stumbling in the dark trying to find it.

I turned my back so that he couldn't see me, I'm not sure why because it was dark. I slipped off my shirt and put on his. I took a running dive at my bed and tried to avoid landing on Eli. I faced away from him and towards my door, just like I always did. I felt Eli moved closer, and then I felt him drape one of his arms around my waste. It hit me; I realized he and I were spooning. I smiled to myself. We fell asleep like this; it was the best night of my life.

_Dream: We were lying in Clare's bed we were kissing without me asking she took off her shirt and then her pants. Next she took of my pants and shirt. Next she took off her bra and underwear, and then did the same with my boxers. She began to rub me next letting her lips leave mine. I moved my lips down her neck, then her breast, and then her stomach then in and out her belly button. Then back up to her face, we kept kissing I felt it happening. I was about to come. _

"_Clare, Clare I'm going to come." I said afraid as to how she would react. _

"_Oh, do you want me to swallow it?" I stifled a laugh. _

"_If you want to," I kind of hopped she would. _

_She lowered she mouth to me, she licked to tip and I came. She licked it up much like a dog licks his owner. Wow, did I just compare my girlfriend to a dog. I shock that thought from my head and we continued to kiss. _

I woke up; Clare was still in my arms. Shit, I thought I had a boner. I hoped Clare couldn't feel it. I tried to fall back asleep I hoped that maybe it I fell back asleep my 'friend' would go away. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was already 11:22. I started to freak out thinking that I was late for something. Wait, its break I have nothing going on. Clare started to stir.

"Eli?" she said groggy from sleep. "Eli, what's poking me?"

"Fuck," I mumbled under my breath. "It's nothing." I hoped she'd fall back asleep.

"No, something's poking me." She rubbed her eyes. "Oh, its morning isn't it."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Oh, I'm sorry, morning wood, I'm sorry." She was giggling and I could tell she was embarrassed.

She turned to face me; I looked deep into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes. She kissed me. I was worried I'm not sure why I suddenly cared about morning breath, but all I wanted to do was get up and brush my teeth. I glanced into her eyes again, and realized that I didn't really want to get up or look away from her eyes. I didn't want to miss a moment of being close to Clare.

"I'm gonna' go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." She said making her way to the bathroom.

As I thought about it I knew that I'd have to pee soon so I got up behind her, but instead of following her to the bathroom I headed downstairs and used the one down there. When I got back up to Clare's room she was lying on her bed wearing nothing but her bra and panties. This was it, what I have been waiting for.


End file.
